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3 Tips for Releasing Anger Quickly

January 27, 2013 14 Comments


Just over one year ago, I was harboring so much anger, resentment, self-hatred, guilt, frustration, and blame that I had an emotional breakdown.  I was frustrated with work.  I was annoyed with my son who was acting out on a regular basis.  I was holding grudges against those who I felt wronged me in some way.  I felt guilty about mistakes I had made.  I gossiped about people.  I blamed others for why I didn’t have peace.  I was a mess.

After being diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder, I vowed to never let myself get to this place again.  I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I believed there had to be a way to live in peace, and I made a commitment to find it.  My #1 priority was finding and sustaining inner peace.  I started by going on a personal retreat, not realizing that it would be the first step toward altering the trajectory of my inner life forever.  Tears are welling up in my eyes as I type this and think about the dramatic shift that has occurred over the past year.  Many of you have witnessed it unfold via my posts on this blog since it launched in March of 2012.

I’m grateful to be a living testimony to the fact that it is possible to go from living in complete stress to living in complete peace.  I want nothing more than to share this gift with all who have ears to hear.  So, without further ado, I’d like to share “3 Tips for Releasing Anger Quickly.”   The moment you feel anger rising up in you in response to what someone has said or done, utilizing these tips can help to release it and bring you back to a state of peace.

1.       Take a Deep Breath

It sounds so simple, but how many times have you responded in anger before pausing to take a breath?  I know I have done that more times than I’d like to acknowledge.  If we pause for a moment, take a deep breath, and compose ourselves, we can respond from a calm and centered place to whatever we are facing.  In addition, taking time to pause on a daily basis can help us respond more peacefully to all we encounter in life.  On my personal retreat last year, I began my daily meditation practice.  Prior to that time, I was lucky if I paused to meditate maybe once a week.  After one full year of daily meditation (and on most days twice/day), I can attest to the tremendous value of it.  I am now able to dissolve anger in an instant, and I know meditation is a major contributor.

2.       Shift Your Perception

When someone does something that causes upset in us, it is easy to point the finger and make them wrong.  I’ve learned, the hard way, that all that does is keep you angry, frustrated, annoyed, or in a state of stress.  Instead of looking outside ourselves, looking within to the source of the frustration is critical.  Ask yourself, “What is it in me that is causing me to see this person/situation this way?”  I love the quote below from A Course in Miracles about perception.  It’s a great reminder that what we see in others is a projection of our own state of mind.  If we’re looking for what’s wrong in others, that’s what we’ll see.  If we’re looking for ways in which we can perceive the situation differently, the Light that was always present emerges.

 “Perception is a mirror, not a fact.  And what I look on is my state of mind, reflected outward.” ~A Course in Miracles

3.       Forgive

This is the clincher.  This brings it all home.  Without this, the other two steps are fleeting and the anger (or any other emotional state that is not perfect peace) will rise up again and again.  When another person says or does something that upsets us, remembering that they are projecting their own inner anger onto us (The same way we were projecting our anger onto them, as described in Step 2).  So, we forgive them, as well as ourselves, for perceiving the situation incorrectly.  In addition, when we forgive we remember that we are not separate from one another.  The ego tries to keep us stuck in the belief that we are separate, but we don’t have to listen to that voice.  We were all created in the image and likeness of God.  There is another Voice in us that knows this is the truth – we can choose to listen to this Voice instead.  It will always remind us to forgive, and will help us see every person and situation with New Eyes.  When we remember to see the Light in one another instead of focusing on the darkness, we can’t help but release the anger and return to the Peace from which we came.

At first it will feel like “work” to remember to do these things.  Over time, it will become second nature.  You will naturally respond with peace, compassion, forgiveness, and unconditional love to all that comes your way.  Now that is “Living in the Light!”  :-)  Have a beautiful, peaceful day!  Keep shining!


Kandace Jones

About the Author:

I used to live life shackled by fear, doubt, and worry. I put on a happy face while navigating my day-to-day duties, but I was emotionally drained, stressed, and unhappy. When I hit rock bottom, and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, I was determined to live life differently. I knew there had to be another way. Out of that determination, and guidance from Spirit, the "Living in the Light" blog was born. It documents my spiritual journey out of the darkness and into the Light. After nine months of publicly sharing my journey, and consciously releasing my attachment to the ego, I experienced a powerful spiritual awakening. I went from living in fear, doubt, worry, and stress to complete inner peace. My greatest passion has become assisting others on their own journey to inner peace. My spiritual memoir, From Stress to Peace: An Intimate Journal on the Journey from Living in Darkness to Living in the Light, is available now on Amazon and Click the tabs at the top of the page to learn more about the From Stress to Peace 21-Day Challenge, Living in the Light Retreats, 1:1 sessions, and the Living in the Light Community - all of which are designed to support your journey to inner peace. I appreciate you taking the time to visit the blog and look forward to supporting you in any way I can!