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Remembering Forgiveness No Matter What

November 4, 2013 2 Comments

forgiveness sunrise

Last week I had a profound reminder of the power of forgiveness.  When I set the intention to extend forgiveness, regardless of the circumstances, last year, I had no idea that the number of opportunities presented to me to forgive would increase.  Or, maybe I was just more aware of them given my commitment to transcend my long-held judgments and resentments.

Regardless, I have been given numerous opportunities to choose forgiveness over judgment, resentment, and retaliation.  It can be easy to affirm, “I am committed to forgiving everyone and everything,” but applying it to every single situation that comes up on a daily basis is where the rubber meets the road (or skids off the road, depending on the day :-)).

The morning started out great.  I woke up at 4:45 a.m. and stayed in bed for a little while, setting the intention for a day filled with the Love and Peace of God.  I meditated, and anchored myself in not only being Love and Peace, but extending it to all.

My husband was out of town, so I needed to get my rambunctious boys (ages 2 and 4) off to school without assistance.  I was grateful for having a full hour in peace and reflection before they woke up.  After meditation, I listened to an inspirational message during which I literally felt my mood shift within.  I was ready to walk boldly in the Light, regardless of the darkness that seemed to pass by throughout the day.

I made it through breakfast and getting the boys ready to go to school just fine.  We were running a little late, so I asked the boys to hurry up as we were going out the door.  Well, my 4-year-old thought it would be fun to run down the block while yelling “RUN!!” to my other son, who then started running down the block in the opposite direction.

Through all of that, I remained calm and was almost ready to pat myself on the back for the dramatic shift in my response to my boys not listening (one of my biggest struggles on the spiritual path).  That is, until I began getting them in the car.

I was trying to put my 2-year-old in the car while he was making his body limp and kicking his feet.  I had my green smoothie in hand, which I could not wait to devour, so I decided to set it in the car seat cup holder while I picked him up with both hands.  I have done this with other drinks in the past and he knows not to touch it.  Well, just as soon as I bent down to pick up my 2-year-old, I heard a pop and a splash and then a burst of laughter from my 4-year-old.  He had purposely knocked down the green juice, which was now all over the seats, carpet, floor, his backpack, and more!  He thought it was “awesome.”

In the moment, I saw nothing funny about it.  As I look back, I can’t help but laugh at what transpired next.  I lost my cool over some doggone green juice.  I allowed the ego to take over and it wasn’t pretty.  My 2-year-old did not help matters by saying, “Oooooh…Mommy is NOT happy with you…you are in troooooouuuuuubbbbbble!”

It has been quite a while since I lost my cool like this.  Yes, I have had to raise my voice to get my sons’ attention at times.  But, I have been able to maintain an inner calm while doing so.  So, I was guided to reflect on why I lost it this time, and what needed to be released so that I could extend Love even in moments like this.  I turned within and asked for guidance from the Spirit, and the answers began flowing.

Once I cooled down, I was reminded that, like everything that happens in this world, it is never about an external event or person when we are upset – it is about our response to that event or person.  I know this, and teach this often via my classes.  But, I had a moment; a moment in which I forgot my intention to forgive all things and instead fell for the ego’s desire to be in control.

So, what do we do when we have moments of amnesia about our true commitment to living in, and extending, the Love and Peace of God?  We can, right in the moment we catch ourselves, decide to choose Love – regardless of the actions of others.  We can also remember to laugh at the ego’s games.  I mean, was it really that serious that my car got a little dirty?  Or, that I was going to have to wait until I got back home to have my breakfast?  Or, that my toddler was just having fun and wasn’t aware of the mess that would be made by knocking the cup over?  No.

It was not that serious.  In fact, I was reminded by the Spirit to be grateful for all that occurs each day, as it is exactly what is needed for me to release anything that is not aligned with Love from my mind.  If I remember that, I can look for the lesson in all things that cause me frustration and be grateful for the opportunity to choose Love where I have chosen judgment or resentment in the past.  What a beautiful reminder for us all.

“Teach only love, for that is what you are.” ~A Course in Miracles

Whenever my sons do something that upsets me, I always say, “I forgive you” and I teach them to do the same to each other.  The day of the green smoothie incident, this was the first thing I told my son when I picked my son up from school (since, I have to admit, forgiveness was the last thing on my mind when I dropped him off).  In addition, I forgave myself for my projection of anger onto him.  I placed blame on him for my lack of peace, and forgot that I am 100% responsible for my reactions to all that arises.

Affirmation: I am grateful for this day.  I am grateful for every experience that calls up places in which I am still attached to retaliation and judgment.  I am willing to relinquish it all, and allow my actions to be guided solely by the Holy Spirit. 

Prayer:  Holy Spirit, I am willing to be guided by Love in each moment.  Help me to release all that is blocking me from freely extending Love to all.  I surrender all. 

Where have you found yourself reacting to the actions of others from a place of upset or frustration?  Are there any particular individuals or events that seem to trigger this response?  What thoughts, or projections, may need to be released in order for you to return to peace?  I’d love to hear from you!  What are some of the things you do to remind yourself of the Truth after moments of expressing upset toward another?  Until next time…

Peace & Infinite Blessings,


Kandace Jones
TWITTER: @coachkandace

About the Author:

I used to live life shackled by fear, doubt, and worry. I put on a happy face while navigating my day-to-day duties, but I was emotionally drained, stressed, and unhappy. When I hit rock bottom, and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, I was determined to live life differently. I knew there had to be another way. Out of that determination, and guidance from Spirit, the "Living in the Light" blog was born. It documents my spiritual journey out of the darkness and into the Light. After nine months of publicly sharing my journey, and consciously releasing my attachment to the ego, I experienced a powerful spiritual awakening. I went from living in fear, doubt, worry, and stress to complete inner peace. My greatest passion has become assisting others on their own journey to inner peace. My spiritual memoir, From Stress to Peace: An Intimate Journal on the Journey from Living in Darkness to Living in the Light, is available now on Amazon and Click the tabs at the top of the page to learn more about the From Stress to Peace 21-Day Challenge, Living in the Light Retreats, 1:1 sessions, and the Living in the Light Community - all of which are designed to support your journey to inner peace. I appreciate you taking the time to visit the blog and look forward to supporting you in any way I can!