Self-Love Series (Part 2 of 4): Forgiveness of Self

In part two of this self-love series, I’d like to touch on something that costs many of us our happiness and peace of mind on a daily basis: the inner critic. You know, the one for whom you never seem to be good enough. The one who is judging as you put just one more cookie in your mouth (just me?). Or, the one who runs down the list of things you didn’t get done that you said you would. The inner critic can be brutal.

I realized just how much I had allowed the inner critic to influence my mood when I began using affirmations on a daily basis to get me through one of the lowest points in my life. As I sat down to write positive statements about myself and my life, I witnessed how difficult it was for me to receive an affirming word. I spent so much time putting myself down as not good enough, not beautiful enough, not productive enough, not smart enough, and more, that when it came time to write “I am enough,” my hand shook. “Am I enough?” I thought. Long pause.

As I wiped the tears from my eyes, after the long silence that emerged from that soul-stirring question, I felt a sense of power settle in. I, then, felt guided to make a list of all that I love about myself. It was a beautiful experience, and I wish I could say the angels sang, horns blew, rainbow colored unicorns appeared, and I never ever felt bad about myself again. But, no. That was not the experience at all. And this is where this post gets real.

There are so many self-help and how-to books that talk about how to improve your mood, feel better about yourself, be more at peace, etc. But, the reality is, it’s not a quick fix. It’s not a one-time list of positive words about yourself. It is daily work. So, what helped me feel better about myself?

It was the daily practice of forgiving myself that brought me back to peace.

The truth is, I make mistakes every day. I forget to do things, I don’t respond to messages I mean to respond to, I lose my temper with my children, I slip and eat unhealthy foods, I skip meditation…the list goes on.

This used to make me feel like crap. Until I learned the secret to true, long-lasting, peace: daily self-forgiveness. Every day, before bed, instead of running down the list of things I didn’t do or should have done better, I began to forgive myself. I forgave myself for the conversations that didn’t go as planned, for the moments I lost my temper, for the projects that were not complete, for the dishes that weren’t washed, for the emails that weren’t written, etc.

I refused to go to bed with self-condemnation on my heart.

Shoot, even this blog post is something I’m forgiving myself for. I wanted to write it last week, but I didn’t. But, I see the blessing in it now because it gave me another opportunity for self-forgiveness. So, today, I forgive myself for procrastinating. I’m grateful for this opportunity to live the message I’m sharing.

So, during this month of practicing self-love, I encourage you to include the practice of self-forgiveness. If you started the month (or year) with a commitment that you haven’t stuck with, forgive yourself and keep it moving. Each day brings with it an opportunity to begin anew.

What’s something you’re ready to forgive yourself for? I’d love to hear from you in the comments. Let’s let it go together!

Happy Valentine’s Day to all who celebrate it! Much Love!

Keep shining!

Peace & Infinite Blessings,

~Kandace

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Kandace Jones
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BLOG: http://www.kandacejones.com
FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/livinginthelight
TWITTER: @coachkandace
INSTAGRAM: @iamlivinginthelight

About the Author: Kandace Jones

I used to live life shackled by fear, doubt, and worry. I put on a happy face while navigating my day-to-day duties, but I was emotionally drained, stressed, and unhappy. When I hit rock bottom, and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, I was determined to live life differently. I knew there had to be another way. Out of that determination, and guidance from Spirit, the "Living in the Light" blog was born. It documents my spiritual journey out of the darkness and into the Light. After nine months of publicly sharing my journey, and consciously releasing my attachment to the ego, I experienced a powerful spiritual awakening. I went from living in fear, doubt, worry, and stress to complete inner peace. My greatest passion has become assisting others on their own journey to inner peace. My spiritual memoir, From Stress to Peace: An Intimate Journal on the Journey from Living in Darkness to Living in the Light, is available now on Amazon and BN.com. Click the tabs at the top of the page to learn more about the From Stress to Peace 21-Day Challenge, Living in the Light Retreats, 1:1 sessions, and the Living in the Light Community - all of which are designed to support your journey to inner peace. I appreciate you taking the time to visit the blog and look forward to supporting you in any way I can!