The Boomerang Effect of Judgement

Earlier this week, I was in a situation where a bunch of people around me were in “judgement mode” and were feeding off of each other in putting someone down.  I allowed myself to forget my commitment to “living in the light” for a moment and joined in with a couple of comments.  Afterwards, I felt terrible.  When I left, I thought about all of the things I could have said and done differently in that situation to steer the discussion in a different direction and to “be the change I wish to see in the world”.  In the past I wouldn’t have even thought about it again because I used to feel like my negative comments somehow pierced the person I was talking about and/or that they were justified due to how terrible what I thought they did was.  And, frankly, I was not spending even a few minutes assessing my actions and thinking about how I could have been more loving in my interactions each day.  But thank God for my change in perception about the world.  Now I step back and assess my thoughts and actions multiple times a day so that I can make a more loving choice the next time.  There were a few messages that came my way through my readings and spiritual development classes this week that really hit home for me:

“Mercy exults victoriously over judgement” ~James 2:13 (Joyce Meyer also added to this scripture in her book Beauty for Ashes by saying “The Lord shared with me that mercy sees the “why” behind the “what.” Mercy and compassion do not look just at the wrongdoing; they look beyond to the person doing the wrong to the childhood, the temperament, and the entire life of the individual.”)

Judgement is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.  ~Unknown

Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest. ~Sri Chinmoy

If you kick a stone in anger, you’ll hurt your own foot.  ~Korean Proverb

I am grateful for the opportunity to “dust myself off and try again”.  I am also grateful for really getting the message loud and clear that I’m only hurting myself (not the other person) when I judge.  I had read quotes like the ones above before and understood them intellectually, but never really put them into practice.  Now that I am so aware of my tendencies and am truly conscious of my power to choose between love and hate/fear in every moment, I can more quickly adjust myself which is a major step forward for me.  In the times when I am not perfect in my spiritual walk, I am grateful for God’s forgiveness.  I am also grateful for the example Jesus set for living a life filled with love and compassion for others – he is truly my master teacher.

As I was centering myself through meditation yesterday, I really felt the Holy Spirit around me (amazing feeling!), and I really felt like I was covered by God.  It reminded me of Marvin Sapp’s song “He Has His Hands on You” (love that song…I used to listen to it every morning when driving to work).  After I finished that “be still and know time” (what I just started calling my meditative moments), I logged in to Facebook to share a quote with friends, and the first status update I saw was the one below from Marianne Williamson (definitely not a coincidence):

According to A COURSE IN MIRACLES, anytime we’ve deflected a miracle (thought or behaved lovelessly, sending an opportunity away), the miracle that we could have had is “held in trust for us by the Holy Spirit until we are ready to receive it.” As long as we atone for our error and seek now to be the people we weren’t when we made the mistake, then we can rest assured that the opportunity will come around again in another form.

That was exactly what I needed to hear – truly a “God of a second chance” (or third, fourth, fifth…how ever many it takes).  One of the things I committed to doing is praying prior to going into any situation to keep my mind focused on the Truth about everyone and everything.  I also think my next class assignment will help me with the way I look at others.  In my spiritual bootcamp, one of our assignments for this week is the read Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s speech “Loving Your Enemies” out loud (with “umph”…really feeling what he was saying).  I encourage you to join me in this assignment and while doing it think about anyone that you have chosen to make your enemy (anyone you’ve spoken or thought negatively about).  On that note, I’ll leave you with a great quote from the great Rev…

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies. ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Much love and light!  Have a fantastic weekend!

~Kandace

About the Author: Kandace Jones

I used to live life shackled by fear, doubt, and worry. I put on a happy face while navigating my day-to-day duties, but I was emotionally drained, stressed, and unhappy. When I hit rock bottom, and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, I was determined to live life differently. I knew there had to be another way. Out of that determination, and guidance from Spirit, the "Living in the Light" blog was born. It documents my spiritual journey out of the darkness and into the Light. After nine months of publicly sharing my journey, and consciously releasing my attachment to the ego, I experienced a powerful spiritual awakening. I went from living in fear, doubt, worry, and stress to complete inner peace. My greatest passion has become assisting others on their own journey to inner peace. My spiritual memoir, From Stress to Peace: An Intimate Journal on the Journey from Living in Darkness to Living in the Light, is available now on Amazon and BN.com. Click the tabs at the top of the page to learn more about the From Stress to Peace 21-Day Challenge, Living in the Light Retreats, 1:1 sessions, and the Living in the Light Community - all of which are designed to support your journey to inner peace. I appreciate you taking the time to visit the blog and look forward to supporting you in any way I can!