When in Doubt, Pray it Out
I am dizzy from the roller coaster of emotions I have experienced over the past few days. The ego is not going down without a fight, that’s for sure. In some moments, I’m experiencing the perfect peace of God within myself and in all things. In other moments, some of my old ego-driven tendencies pop up and are blocking me from experiencing the perfect peace that I know is my natural state of being.
The ego-tendency-of-the-week has been the need to be liked and approved of. This was such a strong tendency of mine throughout my life. It popped up again recently because of the direction I’m going spiritually. My beliefs have shifted a bit, and I was feeling sad about what that may mean for some of my friendships. While I have many friends that are open to spiritual paths that are not aligned with their own, there are also some who are not.
This fear of loss of friendship was heightened when the number of friends who “liked” my blog Facebook page decreased by a few people (silly, I know). The ego started running wild in my mind with things like, “See, I told you you were going to lose friends over this”, “I told you people weren’t open to these ideas”, “Maybe you should take a more balanced approach to your posts”, “Are you sure you’re ready to share more of what you really think?”, “Maybe you should just stop sharing your spiritual journey publicly”, “This new path is going to be lonely”, etc.
Right when the ego was in the thick of its rant, and my eyes were welling up with tears, the phone rang. It was a good friend who just moved to the area that shares similar spiritual beliefs. Talk about Divine timing. He listened to me share what was on my mind with compassion, and then he mentioned a book he ran across years ago called The Ways of Mental Prayer. I looked it up while we were on the phone and, after reading a few pages, realized it was very similar to a prayer technique I learned about in one of my courses earlier this year called Spiritual Mind Treatment. Essentially, through prayer, you are reconnecting to where you truly are – with God. It’s less about the words, and more about feeling your alignment to Spirit. I SO needed that reminder.
“Prayer will draw down in to your soul the omnipotence of God” ~Vital Lehodey, The Ways of Mental Prayer
As much as I am immersed in this material each day, I totally forgot to apply it to this situation. I was allowing myself to get frustrated instead of pausing, breathing, and reconnecting to Spirit. After we got off the phone, I had the most powerful prayer/meditation session I have had in a while. I felt my oneness with God. It was also a beautiful reminder that we are all one in Spirit. The Holy Spirit reminded me that “As you see your brothers, you will see yourself” is not just a nice saying – it’s the truth. I realized I had some judgements about religion that I needed to release so that I wouldn’t feel judged for my own spiritual path.
That was a big shift. I went from being at the effect of everyone else’s judgements to being at the cause of it. I was actually projecting my own judgements on them, and then was feeling like I was the one being judged. I am so grateful for the reminder. When I remember to pray (through affirmative prayer/treatment), it keeps me connected to the truth about myself and others. No matter how different we may appear to be in this world, in Spirit we are all one. That is all that matters. That’s all I’m trying to see. Everything else is an illusion. Back up, ego…the Queen is coming through (for those who don’t get the Queen reference, check out this post).
A song that just came to mind is one my India Arie and Idan Raichel called The Gift of Acceptance. It’s such a beautiful song about tolerance for all spiritual paths! I absolutely love it. Click here to watch the video.
“We can debate until the end of time about who is wrong and who is right, or I can honor your choices and you can honor mine…Gandhi was a Hindu, Martin Luther King a Christian, regardless of religion they knew love was the mission.” ~India Arie & Idan Raichel, The Gift of Acceptance
Keep shining!
~Kandace
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Kandace Jones
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BLOG: http://kandacejones.wordpress.com
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About the Author: Kandace Jones
I used to live life shackled by fear, doubt, and worry. I put on a happy face while navigating my day-to-day duties, but I was emotionally drained, stressed, and unhappy. When I hit rock bottom, and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, I was determined to live life differently. I knew there had to be another way. Out of that determination, and guidance from Spirit, the "Living in the Light" blog was born. It documents my spiritual journey out of the darkness and into the Light. After nine months of publicly sharing my journey, and consciously releasing my attachment to the ego, I experienced a powerful spiritual awakening. I went from living in fear, doubt, worry, and stress to complete inner peace. My greatest passion has become assisting others on their own journey to inner peace.
My spiritual memoir, From Stress to Peace: An Intimate Journal on the Journey from Living in Darkness to Living in the Light, is available now on Amazon and BN.com. Click the tabs at the top of the page to learn more about the From Stress to Peace 21-Day Challenge, Living in the Light Retreats, 1:1 sessions, and the Living in the Light Community - all of which are designed to support your journey to inner peace. I appreciate you taking the time to visit the blog and look forward to supporting you in any way I can!