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Peaceful Mothering

• May 12, 2013 • 2 Comments
Photo by Longevity Magazine

Photo courtesy of Longevity Magazine

Happy Mother’s Day!  As I sit here in my office with Calm Meditation Radio playing in the background, I am reflecting on the significant shift I have experienced in my feelings about motherhood over the last year and a half.

When I was at my lowest point, in January of last year, I was not enjoying motherhood.  That’s actually putting it mildly – I didn’t know how I was going to continue, and at times wondered if I made the right decision.  At the time, my boys were ages 1 and 2.5.  I was extremely stressed, exhausted, and had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety.  My oldest son was going through an extreme case of “Terrible twos” which left me feeling powerless, something I was not at all used to.  I could not get him under control, no matter what I tried.

I would watch all the other mothers post fabulous photos of themselves having so much fun while parenting, and I would feel even worse about myself.  I was constantly comparing my experience of motherhood to what I perceived others’ experience to be.  I was miserable.  I was annoyed.  I had an attitude.  And I desperately needed help.

Throughout the healing process, one of the things that became crystal clear to me was the power I had over my perception of all circumstances – including motherhood.  Instead of constantly linking my emotions to my son’s behavior, or any other occurrence that I felt was causing my upset, I slowly but surely learned to take control of my response to it.

“I could see peace in this situation instead of what I now see in it.” ~A Course in Miracles (Lesson34)

So, for anyone who has ever felt stressed or annoyed as a mother, here are 3 Simple Tips for Moving From Stress to Peace in Motherhood.  I pray you find them useful!

3 Simple Tips for Moving From Stress to Peace in Motherhood

1.  Take Time to Nurture Yourself Spiritually – Daily

I cannot stress this one enough.  It is not possible to respond from a place of peace and harmony, when we do not have inner peace and harmony.  In order to have inner peace and harmony, we have to cultivate it.  Spending quiet time in meditation, contemplation, prayer, reading spiritual texts, journaling, and other relaxing activities with the intention of realigning ourselves spiritually can help bring you back to “center” so that you are more likely to respond from a calm place when frustrations arise.

Many women tend to make time for supporting everything but themselves.  I was certainly one of those women for a long time.  I used to feel bad about taking time to just relax.  I felt lazy and selfish when I did so, so I was always rushing to get back home to the kids instead of really being present and enjoying my time alone.

Let your loved ones know that you need time alone in order to rejuvenate.  I don’t know where women got the idea that we’re supposed to be able to do it all ourselves, with little to no help from others!  You’d be surprised by the number of people who will assist when you share that you could use some assistance.  Letting go of pride, and asking for help was what made daily time alone possible for me.

I can hear some of you saying, “But I have no time!  My schedule is too busy to spend time alone every day!  I have to go to work, cook, give the kids a bath, read stories, straighten up, and then do it all over again the next day!  When do I have time to myself?”  That’s what I would have said to a message like this.  For me, I chose to get up one hour earlier so that I could have a full hour of personal time before the family wakes up.  Yes, it was challenging at first but I got over it J.  Now it is a precious time that I look forward to each day – my quiet time with God.  There are a number of other things I did to create more space that I can expand on in a future post (cutting out T.V., reducing internet surfing time, etc.).

2.  Practice Forgiveness

“Where Oh Where” would I be without my forgiveness practice??  This has been the lifeblood of my spiritual practice.  Remembering that everyone is doing the best they can for the level of awareness they have at the present moment, and forgiving my perception of them has been powerful.  So, with my son, who I perceived as giving me grief, I began asking the Spirit to show me how to view him through the eyes of God.  I began to see that it was my perception that was off, and that my emotions had nothing whatsoever to do with his actions and everything to do with how I was looking at him.  This was a powerful shift not only in my experience of motherhood, but in all areas of my life.

In fact, it has been so powerful that I am actively teaching it to my children.  Although they are young (ages 2 and 4 now), they picked up the concept of forgiveness brilliantly.  Now, for example, when one of them gets hit by the other they say, “He hurt me, but I forgive him, Mommy!”  What more could a mother ask for?

The most helpful tool for me remembering to practice forgiveness daily, and truly shift my perceptions of everyone and everything was A Course in Miracles.  I mention it a lot on this blog because it truly was one of the biggest contributors to my peace of mind.  It’s a self-study text and 365-day workbook that assists with undoing all that is in the way of returning the mind to the peace of God.

3.  Make Peace a Way of Life for the Whole Family

Another thing that was a powerful contributor to a peaceful experience at home (after first focusing on my own inner work, which is the key) was making peace a primary goal for our family.  We shifted our home library to include children’s books that touched on meditation, peaceful interaction with others, how to live the spiritual principles, managing emotions, etc.   See below for a sample list of some titles we have in our collection (for parents and children).  We also began teaching our sons yoga as a way to realign themselves.  While they aren’t yet excited about doing these practices daily, I know the seeds that have been planted will come to fruition!

I pray you find this useful on your journey from stress to peace in motherhood!  Feel free to reach out to me with any further questions regarding this in the comments section below.  I’m happy to support in any way I can!  Happy Mother’s Day!  Keep shining!

~Kandace

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Kandace Jones
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BLOG: http://kandacejones.wordpress.com
FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/livinginthelight
TWITTER: http://www.twitter.com/queenkandace

Filed in: Forgiveness, Inner Peace

About the Author:

I used to live life shackled by fear, doubt, and worry. I put on a happy face while navigating my day-to-day duties, but I was emotionally drained, stressed, and unhappy. When I hit rock bottom, and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, I was determined to live life differently. I knew there had to be another way. Out of that determination, and guidance from Spirit, the "Living in the Light" blog was born. It documents my spiritual journey out of the darkness and into the Light. After nine months of publicly sharing my journey, and consciously releasing my attachment to the ego, I experienced a powerful spiritual awakening. I went from living in fear, doubt, worry, and stress to complete inner peace. My greatest passion has become assisting others on their own journey to inner peace. My spiritual memoir, From Stress to Peace: An Intimate Journal on the Journey from Living in Darkness to Living in the Light, is available now on Amazon and BN.com. Click the tabs at the top of the page to learn more about the From Stress to Peace 21-Day Challenge, Living in the Light Retreats, 1:1 sessions, and the Living in the Light Community - all of which are designed to support your journey to inner peace. I appreciate you taking the time to visit the blog and look forward to supporting you in any way I can!