From Resistance to Acceptance

Have you ever found yourself resisting the way that things are?  Okay, we all have.  You know, those times when we complain about what is going on and begin to cry, “Why me?”  Well, I thought I was over that.  I thought, after all of the coaching and spiritual teaching that I do that I had “progressed” past this phase of resistance.  I, despite how much I guide others not to do so, had become complacent again.

Ego is a tricky animal.  Just when we think we’ve mastered it, it will try to creep back in and bring us back to the old patterns that have caused us pain throughout our lives.  No matter how spiritually awake we believe we are, that old voice can still try to slide through any unhealed cracks that remain.

One of those cracks for me was related to my need to appear to have it all together.  This is something I have carried with me throughout my life.  I picked it up as a child and, apparently, have still not quite put it down.

I had been experiencing peace in all areas of my life, with the exception of my relationship with my 4-year-old son.  His tantrums and behavioral outbursts pushed me over the edge more times that I care to mention.  I could not stop the anger from rising up in me when he acted out.

I applied all of the daily practices that I share with my clients (forgiveness, affirmations, prayer, breathing, meditation, etc.), and I still couldn’t stop the fury.  I was very resistant to accepting this situation as it was – I had to change it or “make it right.”  Partly because of the desire to be a good mother and support my son emotionally.  But, deep down, there was something else there.  I wanted this situation to stop because I didn’t want to look bad.  I didn’t want to look like I couldn’t keep my cool in all situations.

I even took the longest break I have taken from blogging during this period of resistance.  I thought it was because I was “too busy,” but I now realize that I didn’t want to share that I was still struggling with something.  I caught myself thinking things like, “I’m supposed to be a spiritual life coach now…I can’t let the world no I haven’t yet mastered all of this myself.”

As I write that, I have to laugh.  Somehow, I allowed myself to forget the very thing that made this blog resonate from the very beginning – being authentic.  It was never about being perfect.  It was about honestly and openly sharing the ups and downs that tend to be experienced along the spiritual journey.

I was talking with one of my spiritual mentors last week, and mentioned that I was feeling “stuck” in my writing.   I shared that the words would just flow freely in the past, and lately I found myself at a loss regarding what to share.  She said something so simple, yet profound, “What if what is wanting to be expressed is what you’re going through right now?  The truth about how you’re feeling.  Why are you trying to share something other than what you’re experiencing?  Isn’t that what your blog is about?”   DUH!

So, I’m back.  Back to sharing the reality of what this journey entails – a full releasing of all the darkness that resides within so that only the Light shines forth through us.  Yes, there are still traces of darkness that have not yet been brought to the Light that lie within all of us.  There is no way for them to be healed if they are not exposed.

Once they are exposed, we can begin the work that healing requires.  I now consciously look for things that trigger me because my greatest desire is to be a clear vessel for the Love of God to flow through.  So, when something gets a rise out of me, I know that’s just another layer of the old being peeled back until all that remains is the Light.

I am so grateful for this reminder, and pray this is helpful to anyone who was feeling some resistance to emotions that have been coming up for you.

Keep shining!

~Kandace

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Kandace Jones
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BLOG: http://kandacejones.wordpress.com
FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/livinginthelight
TWITTER: @coachkandace

About the Author: Kandace Jones

I used to live life shackled by fear, doubt, and worry. I put on a happy face while navigating my day-to-day duties, but I was emotionally drained, stressed, and unhappy. When I hit rock bottom, and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, I was determined to live life differently. I knew there had to be another way. Out of that determination, and guidance from Spirit, the "Living in the Light" blog was born. It documents my spiritual journey out of the darkness and into the Light. After nine months of publicly sharing my journey, and consciously releasing my attachment to the ego, I experienced a powerful spiritual awakening. I went from living in fear, doubt, worry, and stress to complete inner peace. My greatest passion has become assisting others on their own journey to inner peace. My spiritual memoir, From Stress to Peace: An Intimate Journal on the Journey from Living in Darkness to Living in the Light, is available now on Amazon and BN.com. Click the tabs at the top of the page to learn more about the From Stress to Peace 21-Day Challenge, Living in the Light Retreats, 1:1 sessions, and the Living in the Light Community - all of which are designed to support your journey to inner peace. I appreciate you taking the time to visit the blog and look forward to supporting you in any way I can!